Sunday - July 18th

Sets: 3w,3r,3w,5r,2w,3r,3w,5r,3w
where numbers equal minutes, w equals walked and r equals run

I am an overweight, out-of-shape, tv loving, lazy person. Or that's who I've been, most of the time, for most of my life. Sometimes it feels alright to be lazy, but most of the time my laziness and unfitness makes me feel sluggish, unattractive, and unhappy. There is, I have come to believe, a solution to this problem. To attempt to change.

I have tried to change before and been unsuccessful. Usually I fail and fall back on old habits because it's hard to maintain self-discipline. To push my boundaries. To make myself tired and sweaty. To eat smaller portions of more well rounded foods. It is much simpler to say "I will start tomorrow" or "I'll just treat myself because I had a hard day" or a thousand other things. I have used EVERY excuse on myself, and I have felt that lingering guilt later in the day, or the days following, when I know that I have let myself down.

I have failed at doing it on my own. It turns out I really do need someone to exercise with, and that someone had to be someone at about my fitness level, or a little higher. Someone who was also pushing themselves. Someone to compete with, in a way. That someone is my friend Dani, who has decided run with me every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.

She was the one who suggested it to me. At first I hesitated...could I really do this? Would I flake out on her? We have been friends for a very long time, we know each other so well, and it would hurt me more to let her down than it would to let myself down. Realizing that, I knew this was a journey I wanted to take. It would be difficult, but in the end it would make my life so much better.

We began running three (two? I'm not sure!) weeks ago, and at the end of every jog I felt tired and sweated but ELATED to have strained my body and survived. There is a kind of masochistic bent to my exercising, I admit. I like to push myself and feel my poor, flabby body whine that it's not strong enough, it's too tired, and then for my mind to say to it "TOO BAD!" and push it just that much farther. Already, at only this far along in my journey, I have more energy during the day. I feel a little stronger. I weigh just a little bit less. :)

Dani is running with the goal of participating in something called warrior dash - a 3.5 k obstacle course. Together we plan to be able to run that far by the first week of September. I haven't signed up for the course yet...mostly because although it sounds like fun (there will be mud, and some not so safe things like crawling under barbed wire and repelling down a cliff!) I have to put 45 dollars into it. I am not running in order to compete in the challenge, although the distance is definitely my driving goal. Instead, I've started running and dieting in order to become the person I have always wanted to be, but not had the will power to become. A strong, fit woman.

I will be a strong, fit woman.

I plan to update every day I run with my completed sets listed, sometimes with descriptions of how I feel about my progress or the work out. My next post will be pictures and measurements, which I will retake on a monthly basis. I hope in the end to have one hell of an impressive before and after! :D

Watch this blog. It's going to be a fun and difficult run!

- Maddie